The Origin of Disturbance

Photo: CK

I want to speak about something that is disturbing, and must be done in a disturbing way--but not with the intent to disturb. Still, it may well be disturbing and difficult to read. That being said, if you let it all in, if you plant the seed, there will be a lightness that disturbs your disturbances, brings them out from their stealthy burrows. This is the work to do. All the same, I have decided to use light-hearted images to offset the potentially grueling task ahead.

With enough effort, there is a way to hate everything. But, "haters", as we understand the definition, don't exist, because we, ourselves, are not hatred. We are, rather, the observation of hatred in ourselves and in perceived others. So, haters don't want to hate. They are actually incapable. Hatred is involuntary and out of our control. Hatred itself wants to hate, and if you don't allow it the time and space to simply exist, it will find a way to indirectly justify its existence through a plethora of fashions.

Hatred is just another chemical equation, an anomaly that we have since developed the habit of suppressing, and calling this suppression that which we think we are actually expressing. This is why hatred remains. Our attempts at expressing it are actually a suppression, with the adverse effect being collateral targets. To allow hatred to fully live is not about acting physically. It's not about doing something. It's not about NOT doing something either. Because you yourself have no responsibility for that which you cannot control, let alone cannot see clearly.

It is a bird we have captured and it is flailing in our grip, there are feathers everywhere. Your fingers are being robbed of their skin and blood streams from the beak of this little bird. In the meanwhile, your hands are full and you wonder why you can't eat pizza, so you will then be furious that you as a meager human being actually need nourishment. What an outrage, that we have this terrible inconvenience of needing to gather ingredients, combine them skillfully, cook attentively, watch the hour, and then pick up our meal with utensils and eat it, digest it. In the meantime there is shrill squawking and blood pooling into the dough and the sausages aren't cut evenly. The cheese was grated too late. Your fingers kept dropping the fork because of the bird you are holding. It would be so much better to not have to cook and eat things! So much more convenient! Why was life designed this way? Why don't we band together as humans to do research on how to live without cooking and eating? Why all of this toil, pain, inconvenience?

Photo: CK (The pizza I made the night of Leonard Nimoy's passing.)

Our world is not quite the above; in our reality, we don't even know yet that we are holding birds.

Now here is the thing. We cannot blame the bird for trying to escape and becoming aggressive in its attempts to do so. We can thus forgive it. We can also forgive ourselves for not realizing we were denying life from just another part of our energetic ecosystem. We can then understand that we may be holding onto to other birds we may call happiness or security or even health. And yet, this is not how birds wish to engage with us. They would rather be the singing in the morning, the swooping overhead of a giant wingspan and the surgical precision of a strike to find prey. They are our companions, muses, mentors and children of the village. The relationship can be one of mutual reassurance along the journey. Perhaps an occasional pooping on your favorite jacket, and perhaps a pecking at your sandwich on the beach. But that's if it's really needed. Anything worse is caused by our own interference and grasping.

So, hatred is forgotten. We acknowledge that any held or resisted emotion is potentially a bird we are strangling. Yet we cannot let go of our grip. Otherwise, we would have done so long ago. How then, to solve the problem? Correct observation yields correct action immediately, skipping understanding completely. You have to accept that you will never understand what happened. Why would you need to? To be ready for the next time? To explain it to others? Impure intents. Here is the simple litmus test:

If you are bothered by something and simultaneously think you know why you are bothered, then dismiss your findings immediately, no matter how rational or logical. If you really knew WHY you were bothered, your hand would let go of the bird. The wounds would heal fully, quickly, and you may even live afterwards never having held a bird in the first place. It can really be that mysterious and all-encompassing.

I invite you to try.

Photo: CK (Her name is Toph, his is Picard. They just had a cooling spray of mist while outside in the sun. Ruffled feathers, but in a good way!)